About Me

Just in case you haven't figured it out already, I have Crohn's Disease.

I wasn't always this outspoken about the illness, in fact, when I was first diagnosed in 2007 only my family knew. As I was born relatively healthy and lived my life without major illnesses, I was pretty much devastated when I found out I had a "long-term illness". I was unfortunate enough to experience a level of bullying and suffering that caused so much pain, I  didn't even realise I had lost so much weight. On top of that, I probably had diarrhoea for at least a year, but because I was so stressed about other problems, I was oblivious to what was happening to my body.

Some time had passed and I was about to take a new medication, but for some reason I read the instructions - something I never used to do but strongly advise you to do - and this prompted me to recognise I had a problem. It said something along the lines of do not take if you have loose stools for more than 1 week. I asked my mum what loose stools where and she told me. Then panicked and asked "why whats wrong? do you have it?" I said yes and she asked how long for. When I said, "well probably only a year" I'll never forget the look of horror on her face and she quickly told me to book an appointment at the doctors.

I probably went through a year of tests before they told me what the illness was, and even then it was "we think you have Ulcerative Colitis, but it might be Crohn's as well". I don't remember much else other than bursting into tears and thinking my life is over. I was so depressed, not simply because of the illness, but because I didn't really feel I could tell my problems to anyone because no-one in my family had an illness. As much as they sympathised, I always got the feeling they were only listening but not understanding. Obviously I realise now that they can't really understand unless I give them laxatives for a week, but even then, the pain we feel is a different kind of pain entirely. Not one I'd wish on anybody.

Fast forward to today and I'm now 23, and have had Crohn's for 6-7 years. It still tries to get me and stop me in my tracks, but what's different is that I won't let it overtake me. Changing my outlook on being a Crohn's sufferer to a Crohn's survivor might sound cheesy, but it helps me and keeps my head above water. It's so easy to get bogged down and deflated when your body does things you didn't know it could do, but learning to manage it and not be alarmed about every little twinge will keep you grounded.

This illness tends to make your mind work over time and I mean, over time! You will go through a period of thinking you'll die, get other illnesses, not be able to have kids, not be able to work, be a slave to the bathroom and all sorts. Please note: self-pity is inevitable. I suffered - and still do - with overthinkingness (if you will) and it has to stop! It doesn't do you any good, it simply makes you stress more. Trust me, the last thing you want to do with a stress related illness is to stress about things that haven't, and most likely will not happen to you.

Just remember one thing, Crohn's or IBD might be a part of your life, but that doesn't mean your life is over, it just means you have to make reasonable adjustments. Don't see it as a negative, embrace it, you never know where it might lead you - other than the toilet of course!