Be Positive

Yesterday was one of those days that had the potential to take me back to an extremely low place physically and psychologically. I had to leave work almost as soon as we opened so that I could get an emergency Doctor's appointment. I was experiencing the worst kind of stomach cramps; cramps so painful that stopped my speech mid-sentence. I’m used to just getting on with things, but this I couldn’t ignore, especially as I began to walk like a Penguin to try and ease the pain.

I couldn't quite pull off his moves

Surprisingly, I left my work place feeling calm while trying to be more Cara Delevingne, less Mumble (Happy Feet - penguin waddle). Normally I would've started to panic and run through every worst-case scenario it could possibly be. A flare up? Bowel Cancer? Will I need surgery to remove the diseased intestines? But I didn't this time; I simply decided to find out what was wrong. It's so easy to exacerbate every twinge we feel in our bodies because we're so used to bad news with Crohn's. Well let me tell you now, stop doing this, it's not healthy! We don't allow ourselves the chance to be told how it can be managed, we jump straight into "life is over" mode. If this is you right now, shake yourself - literally - and get a grip! *Shakes self*

Couldn't have said it better myself.

My Doctor confirmed that I'm not experiencing a flare up, it's simply a case of - forgive me for being so graphic - Piles (Haemorrhoids). (To find out more about them, if you dare, click here). I was still in the "are you sure that's all it is?" mode, and looking into my Doctor's eyes to see if she was trying to hide bad news from me. But it turns out, that's what it was. Although it wasn't amazing news, to me, it was good news despite the pain. At that point I realised that my relaxed attitude helped me get through it - well that and the fact that I didn't need an internal examination! (Not a nice experience but has to be done now and again).

So true!

Today is a better day, and although I'm still in pain, my mindset doesn't tell me it's the end of the world. Don't get me wrong, pain is awful and right now, Buscopan (IBS relief) is my best friend, but I won't allow myself to stay down, and I won't allow you to either. If you need to cry, go ahead, I do and did when it was necessary - and sometimes when it wasn't necessary - but if it helps, let it out. There's nothing wrong with crying, you usually feel better afterwards too. Just don't let it consume you and become the only thing you do.

LOL - Crohn's humour that keeps me smiling!

Why am I telling you about this? Because how you deal with bad news about your health - or anything else for that matter - today, tomorrow, or in the future determines how well you'll get through it all.  And no, crying doesn't mean you're weak and won't get through it, it just means you need to release some built up emotions. Perhaps Freud would call it the Weeping Cure? (I studied his work in Literature and Psychoanalysis, there's a name for everything). Freud might say that crying relieves the patient of "emotional sufferings". (Ok, I'll stop now - I clearly miss studying). But you see where I'm coming from, a certain amount of crying helps. The main thing is how you move forward.

See the funny side of things.

It's important not to over think a situation, let things happen without obsessing over what it may or may not turn out to be. I used to do that, and the only thing that came out of it was a guaranteed headache. I was feeling really rotten yesterday but told myself that I had to get out of bed and stop feeling sorry for myself, and it helped. I also put on Finding Nemo just so that I could hear Dory sing, "Just keep swimming". Call me childish, but I thought it was a great movie.

Just keep swimming!

I guess when all is said and done the only person that has the power to change your thoughts is you. Don't stay stuck in a rut, get up, get out and do something different. If you want or need help there are plenty of people waiting to help you, all you need to do is ask. I'm one of them too, I talk a lot, but my name actually means "listener" so I'm here whenever you need me. If not, there are lots of places you can get support, the IBD Community is massive. Things will get better one day, just be patient and learn to smile through the hard times and talk to someone about how you're feeling. You matter, your feelings matter and you are important.

I love you all so please remember to stay fabulous and keep smiling.

Sam xx