Be Positive

Yesterday was one of those days that had the potential to take me back to an extremely low place physically and psychologically. I had to leave work almost as soon as we opened so that I could get an emergency Doctor's appointment. I was experiencing the worst kind of stomach cramps; cramps so painful that stopped my speech mid-sentence. I’m used to just getting on with things, but this I couldn’t ignore, especially as I began to walk like a Penguin to try and ease the pain.

I couldn't quite pull off his moves

Surprisingly, I left my work place feeling calm while trying to be more Cara Delevingne, less Mumble (Happy Feet - penguin waddle). Normally I would've started to panic and run through every worst-case scenario it could possibly be. A flare up? Bowel Cancer? Will I need surgery to remove the diseased intestines? But I didn't this time; I simply decided to find out what was wrong. It's so easy to exacerbate every twinge we feel in our bodies because we're so used to bad news with Crohn's. Well let me tell you now, stop doing this, it's not healthy! We don't allow ourselves the chance to be told how it can be managed, we jump straight into "life is over" mode. If this is you right now, shake yourself - literally - and get a grip! *Shakes self*

Couldn't have said it better myself.

My Doctor confirmed that I'm not experiencing a flare up, it's simply a case of - forgive me for being so graphic - Piles (Haemorrhoids). (To find out more about them, if you dare, click here). I was still in the "are you sure that's all it is?" mode, and looking into my Doctor's eyes to see if she was trying to hide bad news from me. But it turns out, that's what it was. Although it wasn't amazing news, to me, it was good news despite the pain. At that point I realised that my relaxed attitude helped me get through it - well that and the fact that I didn't need an internal examination! (Not a nice experience but has to be done now and again).

So true!

Today is a better day, and although I'm still in pain, my mindset doesn't tell me it's the end of the world. Don't get me wrong, pain is awful and right now, Buscopan (IBS relief) is my best friend, but I won't allow myself to stay down, and I won't allow you to either. If you need to cry, go ahead, I do and did when it was necessary - and sometimes when it wasn't necessary - but if it helps, let it out. There's nothing wrong with crying, you usually feel better afterwards too. Just don't let it consume you and become the only thing you do.

LOL - Crohn's humour that keeps me smiling!

Why am I telling you about this? Because how you deal with bad news about your health - or anything else for that matter - today, tomorrow, or in the future determines how well you'll get through it all.  And no, crying doesn't mean you're weak and won't get through it, it just means you need to release some built up emotions. Perhaps Freud would call it the Weeping Cure? (I studied his work in Literature and Psychoanalysis, there's a name for everything). Freud might say that crying relieves the patient of "emotional sufferings". (Ok, I'll stop now - I clearly miss studying). But you see where I'm coming from, a certain amount of crying helps. The main thing is how you move forward.

See the funny side of things.

It's important not to over think a situation, let things happen without obsessing over what it may or may not turn out to be. I used to do that, and the only thing that came out of it was a guaranteed headache. I was feeling really rotten yesterday but told myself that I had to get out of bed and stop feeling sorry for myself, and it helped. I also put on Finding Nemo just so that I could hear Dory sing, "Just keep swimming". Call me childish, but I thought it was a great movie.

Just keep swimming!

I guess when all is said and done the only person that has the power to change your thoughts is you. Don't stay stuck in a rut, get up, get out and do something different. If you want or need help there are plenty of people waiting to help you, all you need to do is ask. I'm one of them too, I talk a lot, but my name actually means "listener" so I'm here whenever you need me. If not, there are lots of places you can get support, the IBD Community is massive. Things will get better one day, just be patient and learn to smile through the hard times and talk to someone about how you're feeling. You matter, your feelings matter and you are important.

I love you all so please remember to stay fabulous and keep smiling.

Sam xx

Streamlined Silhouettes

During the course of Steroids, clothes can either be your best friend or your worst nightmare. Why you ask? I thought it was obvious...you bloat...everywhere! I found that dressing my new frame was one of the hardest things to do, I seemed to be getting bigger by the hour. It's deeply depressing because you know the medication is working for the greater good, but the side effects seriously suck! Getting better is one thing, but looking and feeling puffed up doesn't exactly make you feel great.

The perfect way to describe Steroids is that it makes everyday life bittersweet. Although it reduces internal swelling, stops frequent bowel movements, and makes each day more manageable, it does so at the expense of blowing you up like a balloon. (I'm not even exaggerating here, you genuinely blow up - see below)

I'm pretty sure this was me at my biggest -
Moon face alert!

The major giveaway to my weight gain is my face, arms, and the dreaded swollen foot. (Seriously annoying.) What worked for me here - you may disagree - is that I wore a loose Sleeveless Blouse and mirrored this with a Dip-Hemmed Maxi Skirt. I'm almost certain this was one of the hottest days of the year, so I didn't want anything to cling to me, I probably would have sweat patches everywhere - another annoying side effect, hot flushes.

After speaking with a few people on long-term Steroids, we all agreed that bloating and looking almost 6 months pregnant was by far the most embarrassing side effect. I've been questioned, or rather confronted as to whether I'm pregnant, why I'm "getting so fat" - in those exact words I might add - and why I've been "stuffing my face with unhealthy food". *Sigh* Yes people were that ignorant and rude. Their words cut like a knife and most days I wanted to crawl under a rock until I was off the meds. Was that a way to live? Certainly not.

I've delayed writing this post because I was a tad embarrassed, but you know what, feeling ashamed about something I couldn't control made me feel worse about myself. I used to let Crohn's rule me and when it would flare, I became the person that never left my room and always declined invitations because I felt and looked awful (or so I thought). Because of this, I decided to bare all and share my secret to looking great whilst living with a temporarily bigger frame.

So how do you streamline your silhouette I hear you ask? Simple, with Shapewear! You may not see this as a reason to be embarrassed, but for a 23 year old to admit that I've had to wear undergarments that suck me in is not an easy thing to do. I mean let's face it, I couldn't exactly wear my Loose Blouse and Maxi Skirt every day of the week could I?

While some people can go to the gym to lose the extra pounds, that's not exactly easy to do when you're on Steroids, and don't let anyone tell you it is either...it's not! I've compiled a small list of where you can buy these beauties so that your silhouette will look as great as it did before the Steroids kicked in.

#1 - Debenhams

Body Shaper - £38

I absolutely love this all-in-one Shaper. It does wonders to your figure and keeps your tummy well and truly tucked away. This means you don't have to walk around with your hands casually placed in front of you to hide the bulge. I know I'm not the only one who does this - or am I?

#2 - Marks and Spencer

Shaping Slip - £27.50

Even as I write about this, I'm laughing. I used to hate wearing slips when I was younger, and now I swear by them - I think I'm turning into my mum. Although this isn't the exact slip my mum was talking about, the Shaping Slip doesn't fail to deliver, resulting in a perfect fitting dress that "hangs perfectly" as said by mum.

#3 - Asos

High Waist Thigh Slimmer - £30

A High Waist Thigh Slimmer is the perfect accompaniment to a High Waisted Skirt and will accentuate all curves that appear hidden or less defined. You'll be able to put on clothes that suit your body shape again without feeling like you have to play it safe.

#4 - Primark

 

Seam-free Waist Shaper
Briefs - £5

These briefs work wonders when you don't necessarily want to be nipped and tucked everywhere. The control isn't as fierce as the others, but it certainly beats the changing room scene in White Chicks (2004). Believe me, you won't have to "suck it in sister", you just need to make sure it's the right size so it does the job.

I have to confess, the one I bought is not on here, because once again, it's not available online. (I know, I should seriously stop visiting shops if I'm not able to find the link for you all.) Anyway, my Shape wear was from T K Maxx, and it has seen me through my bigger days and even though I don't rely on it as much, it still keeps me at times. Yes, I am talking about my undergarment like it's a friend. It helped me step out the door in outfits I didn't think I could pull off anymore, and it'll do the same for you.

Don't let weight gain, regardless of medication or other, stop you from taking pride in your appearance. If you invest in one of these, I promise you'll be able to rock Bodycon Dresses and High Waist Skirts again. What's more, you'll look and feel amazing at the same time. 

I hope this helps, but always remember to stay fabulous and keep smiling.

Sam xx