The Isolating Illness

I'm almost certain that everyone living with an illness feels isolated from everyone else at some stage, especially if you're the only one in your family or friendship circle with it. I often battle with this, sometimes on a daily basis, sometimes once in a blue moon, but it still happens even though I've had Crohn's now for about 7 years.

A few months ago I experience a "minor" flare-up, which had me off work for 8 weeks. It was pretty devastating, more so because I'd started my new job as a Copywriter a few months before. I felt awful to say the least. I'd go as far as saying I felt like a failure because I couldn't keep this invisible illness in check. But what I kept forgetting during those moments of beating myself up was that it wasn't the end of the road for me. Yes I had to take time off work in order to get better, but my job was still there. I also may have been on bed rest for what felt like 10 years, but what was I really missing out on? The commute to work? Seeing friends? Seeing family? Of which both friends and family rallied round me as much as they could so that I wasn't "alone".

It was a difficult time. It's always a difficult time when you're in constant pain and the thought of getting out of bed is too much because everything will hurt. But one day I just had to stop feeling sorry for myself and get the heck out of bed. I chose to put on a fancy top even though I wasn't going anywhere. I just couldn't stomach seeing myself in leggings and a baggy Tee anymore (not quite a pun but let's just say it is lol). I binge-watched a lot of TV series' and read some great books, which I'll share in a separate post.

To everyone living with an illness today, whether Crohn's Disease or not, you're not alone. It might feel like you are. Hell, it'll even feel like "no one understaaaaaands" what you're going through (yes I often said it just like that), but they do to a certain extent. Does that give you comfort? Probably not. But the point I'm getting at is you're only alone if you choose not to let people be there for you in whatever way they can. And if you're family and friends don't know what you're feeling, tell them. You don't have to share all the not-so-glamourous details, but tell them you'd appreciate their company so you don't feel so isolated when the horrible thoughts come. If they don't know how you feel, they won't always gather round you when you need it most.

That's all from me today guys, but don't let the illness keep you away from the good things in life.

 Stay strong and keep smiling x

I'm back!

Hey all!

It's been SUCH a long time since I've blogged and I've missed it so much!

A few weeks after my last post I started my new job (yay!) as a Copywriter for quite a big Bank, so you can imagine I've been crazy busy. I've now settled into my job and I love it more than I can say. As with most things though, stress plays a part in it and unfortunately for us with a "stress-related illness", your body begins to suffer just a tad (actually,way more than a "tad"). I suffered a minor setback and had a flare-up, so I was pretty much bed bound for about 8 weeks, and that was after catching the flare at the "early stages" :-|.

Seeing as it's my first post in a few months, I'm going to keep it brief for now, but I do have a LOT to talk about. A lot of my forthcoming posts will include things I've done over the summer, what helps me relax during flares, balancing work life with Crohn's and a little bit of this and that (probably a lot of actually) just to keep you entertained.

I intend to keep on blogging about Crohn's Disease until everyone and anyone will feel comfortable talking about it. If you've been diagnosed with it recently, or you've had it a while, continue to fight the good fight and live life to the max! Having an illness doesn't stop you from achieving your goals, it's just a little stumbling block that can be overcome in due course.

Wishing you all the best on this fine Sunday morning :-)

Keep smiling and stay absolutely fabulous!

Take Crohn's One Day at a Time

When I think about my journey with Crohn's Disease, I'm very much reminded of a chorus we used to sing in Primary School - just a few years back. It goes *clears throat*:

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
Thursday, Friday, Saturday too
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 days
Each day different 
And every day new

If I could describe to you how life with Crohn's Disease is, it would be the last two sentences. For me, those words apply when Crohn's is in remission and when I'm experiencing a flare - especially when I'm on Prednisolone, that bittersweet medicine - because each day brings something different. It's not always a negative though, some days I'm happy because I'll go to the toilet 3 times instead of 5. (That's a pretty big deal!) It could also be something as simple as my stomach deciding not to gurgle every time the room goes dead silent - I can't even remember how many times I've had to try and cough over that noise. It sounds like our current windy situation, but louder and extremely embarrassing!

However, now that Crohn's is in remission, I still have to be as cautious as anything, if not more so, because any little thing could trigger a flare. For instance, I know that eating certain foods have the ability to cause an explosion, so to speak, in the nether regions, so I simply stay away. (I do still have moments where I want to indulge in the "forbidden" foods, but it's not always worth it when you're stuck to the loo the next day). For instance, that delicious Burger you see, the one with the Sesame Seeds on - clearly I need to rethink how I take pictures if I ever want to show you the meat - was absolutely divine, but the Habanero jam (pretty much chillies) caused a bit of a disturbance the very next day.

Gourmet Burger Kitchen's Habanero with Sweet
Potato Fries - it was delicious but deadly

I'll admit I chose the burger at my own risk, I'm usually better at making my food choices, but that night I just wanted it and it was amazing even if it messed me up a tad. But what I suggest, that I'm sure you all know, is to keep a food diary and stick with it. Mine is more of a mental diary than a physical one because I've had Crohn's for a while now, but at least I know what sets me off and what keeps my insides relatively normal. It's a good idea in the long run though, you'll feel like you've got a portion of your life back simply because of the foods you choose to eat and drink.

No song is complete without it's ending, so I've decided to add it in for the fun of it - it pretty much sums up our British weather.

Wet days, dry days, bright days, cloudy days
Hot days, cold days, windy days too
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 days
Each day different
And every day new

So every time you feel like you can't take anymore, think of this simple children's song and remember that things will turn around eventually. It's not the immediate remedy we're all hoping for, but your symptoms will calm down over a period of time. It'll seem like forever, as it did for me, but there's light at the end of the tunnel and slowly but surely you'll make it through - one day at a time. Monitor what triggers your symptoms and do your best to avoid it at all times - unlike me with the Habanero Jam. *Epic fail*

Happy Sunday guys, remember to keep smiling and stay fabulous,

Sam xx

Be Bold and Forget Crohn's

I'm sure you're all thinking, how on earth can I forget Crohn's? Is she for real? Yes I am. Obviously I know you can't forget the fact that you've got an inconvenient invisible illness - awesome alliteration Ha! I did it again - that gets in the way of everyday life. It knows exactly how to stop you in your tracks and not in a Knight-in-shining-armour type of way. (I admit, that would be pretty amazing).

So...how do you forget Crohn's? Quite easily, doll yourself up! Put on an outfit that makes you feel like a million bucks. It doesn't have to be the most expensive item you own, just make it look expensive so that you feel über confident. And if you aren't going anywhere, just put on a touch of makeup, it will bring out the best side of you. Or if the medication you're on gives you spots, it'll mask over them and keep you looking flawless.

I chose my Topshop Denim Shirt with my Heavy-Weight
Leggings & a Statement necklace.

There is a point to all of what I'm saying - stick with me. By playing dress up, you're drawing your attention away from feeling so rotten and sorry for yourself. I remember when I was admitted to hospital, I wore a tracksuit and put a dressing gown over it and walked like I had the world of my shoulders. My mum ordered me to go upstairs and change into something that makes me look like I belong somewhere. At the time I didn't see the big deal, but looking back I realised the way I carried myself was driving me further into depression. I didn't have a care in the world because I was unwell, in pain and felt miserable about everything. Living with an illness can do that to you, but sometimes you just have to force yourself to put on something other than track suit bottoms and a baggy tee - it's just not cute and won't make you feel it no matter how comfortable you are.

So we have Crohn's Disease...Do we have to look like our bodies are falling apart? Certainly not. You might get a few people saying, "you don't look sick at all". Don't get frustrated or upset, simply reply, "Thanks, that was the look I was going for". After all, why should we look the way we feel? Surely looking ill is going to make you feel even more terrible about yourself - especially when someone chooses to highlight it.

So if this illness malarky is stopping you from feeling like a happy person or the former you before the dreaded diagnosis, here's what you need to do. Stop looking at your old clothes and thinking how amazing they were, you'll fit into them again. Buy some Shapewear or Spanx, and then welcome aboard all things Jersey. It's totally forgiving on the hips tum and bum, and you won't feel like a balloon in a potato sack. Purchase some gorgeous makeup that will cover over those annoying stress spots or whatever side effect the medication brings. What you're doing is taking your mind off of Crohn's and being kind to yourself. It doesn't take the pain away, but don't you look good?!

So from me to you, be bold with your outfits and makeup and forget your illness. Dress to make you happy. Don't worry about the Jeans, maybe it's time you started wearing more dresses and skirts anyway. Don't tell me you're stomach or your bum is too big, you'll look great and the clothes will make you look amazing! Trick your body into recovery, and if it doesn't necessarily take the pain away - as I didn't imagine it would - at least you'll look gorgeous full stop!

Put on some makeup and tweet me your best looks (@smdee13)! I can't wait to see it :-)

Here's some of mine with my lovely sister:

This shirt was ironed, it just got creased because
I've been sitting down for the majority of the day - honest!

I'll do a separate post on what I used to create the look, but you MUST know that Revlon's Colorburst Matte Balm in Standout is literally my new staple lipstick. I chose red today simply because it's Valentine's Day and red lips look amazing.

I hope you've enjoyed reading and don't forget to keep smiling and stay fabulous lovelies.

Sam x

Streamlined Silhouettes

During the course of Steroids, clothes can either be your best friend or your worst nightmare. Why you ask? I thought it was obvious...you bloat...everywhere! I found that dressing my new frame was one of the hardest things to do, I seemed to be getting bigger by the hour. It's deeply depressing because you know the medication is working for the greater good, but the side effects seriously suck! Getting better is one thing, but looking and feeling puffed up doesn't exactly make you feel great.

The perfect way to describe Steroids is that it makes everyday life bittersweet. Although it reduces internal swelling, stops frequent bowel movements, and makes each day more manageable, it does so at the expense of blowing you up like a balloon. (I'm not even exaggerating here, you genuinely blow up - see below)

I'm pretty sure this was me at my biggest -
Moon face alert!

The major giveaway to my weight gain is my face, arms, and the dreaded swollen foot. (Seriously annoying.) What worked for me here - you may disagree - is that I wore a loose Sleeveless Blouse and mirrored this with a Dip-Hemmed Maxi Skirt. I'm almost certain this was one of the hottest days of the year, so I didn't want anything to cling to me, I probably would have sweat patches everywhere - another annoying side effect, hot flushes.

After speaking with a few people on long-term Steroids, we all agreed that bloating and looking almost 6 months pregnant was by far the most embarrassing side effect. I've been questioned, or rather confronted as to whether I'm pregnant, why I'm "getting so fat" - in those exact words I might add - and why I've been "stuffing my face with unhealthy food". *Sigh* Yes people were that ignorant and rude. Their words cut like a knife and most days I wanted to crawl under a rock until I was off the meds. Was that a way to live? Certainly not.

I've delayed writing this post because I was a tad embarrassed, but you know what, feeling ashamed about something I couldn't control made me feel worse about myself. I used to let Crohn's rule me and when it would flare, I became the person that never left my room and always declined invitations because I felt and looked awful (or so I thought). Because of this, I decided to bare all and share my secret to looking great whilst living with a temporarily bigger frame.

So how do you streamline your silhouette I hear you ask? Simple, with Shapewear! You may not see this as a reason to be embarrassed, but for a 23 year old to admit that I've had to wear undergarments that suck me in is not an easy thing to do. I mean let's face it, I couldn't exactly wear my Loose Blouse and Maxi Skirt every day of the week could I?

While some people can go to the gym to lose the extra pounds, that's not exactly easy to do when you're on Steroids, and don't let anyone tell you it is either...it's not! I've compiled a small list of where you can buy these beauties so that your silhouette will look as great as it did before the Steroids kicked in.

#1 - Debenhams

Body Shaper - £38

I absolutely love this all-in-one Shaper. It does wonders to your figure and keeps your tummy well and truly tucked away. This means you don't have to walk around with your hands casually placed in front of you to hide the bulge. I know I'm not the only one who does this - or am I?

#2 - Marks and Spencer

Shaping Slip - £27.50

Even as I write about this, I'm laughing. I used to hate wearing slips when I was younger, and now I swear by them - I think I'm turning into my mum. Although this isn't the exact slip my mum was talking about, the Shaping Slip doesn't fail to deliver, resulting in a perfect fitting dress that "hangs perfectly" as said by mum.

#3 - Asos

High Waist Thigh Slimmer - £30

A High Waist Thigh Slimmer is the perfect accompaniment to a High Waisted Skirt and will accentuate all curves that appear hidden or less defined. You'll be able to put on clothes that suit your body shape again without feeling like you have to play it safe.

#4 - Primark

 

Seam-free Waist Shaper
Briefs - £5

These briefs work wonders when you don't necessarily want to be nipped and tucked everywhere. The control isn't as fierce as the others, but it certainly beats the changing room scene in White Chicks (2004). Believe me, you won't have to "suck it in sister", you just need to make sure it's the right size so it does the job.

I have to confess, the one I bought is not on here, because once again, it's not available online. (I know, I should seriously stop visiting shops if I'm not able to find the link for you all.) Anyway, my Shape wear was from T K Maxx, and it has seen me through my bigger days and even though I don't rely on it as much, it still keeps me at times. Yes, I am talking about my undergarment like it's a friend. It helped me step out the door in outfits I didn't think I could pull off anymore, and it'll do the same for you.

Don't let weight gain, regardless of medication or other, stop you from taking pride in your appearance. If you invest in one of these, I promise you'll be able to rock Bodycon Dresses and High Waist Skirts again. What's more, you'll look and feel amazing at the same time. 

I hope this helps, but always remember to stay fabulous and keep smiling.

Sam xx